


Arnaldo’s Backstory

by ciggie69



Category: The Beatles
Genre: M/M, urinary meatus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-10-01
Packaged: 2020-11-09 11:48:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20852936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciggie69/pseuds/ciggie69
Summary: the true backstory of the fifth beatle, arnaldo mcfartknee.





	Arnaldo’s Backstory

Arnaldo Mcfartknee was born on August 6th, 1941. His dad went to the store to get some cigarettes and never came back, and his mom was actually a drag queen. Doctor’s aren’t quite sure how he was born, but he was also born being HIV positive, so his birth was a medical mystery. 

It was in the summer of 1958 when Arnaldo McFartknee met John Lennon. At the time, John was playing in a band called the Quarryman, and was quite infamous among young musicians in Liverpool, so Arnaldo did his best to try and impress John. After John heard Arnaldo play, and saw some of Arnaldo’s songs, John decided Arnaldo was the perfect fit for the band. Arnaldo would play whatever position needed filling for the particular song, wether it was keyboards, drums, guitar, backing vocals, whatever was available, but he eventually became the drummer after John realized Arnaldo was extremely talented on them. 

When John wasn’t looking, Paul McCartney, the bassist for John’s band, would often come up to Arnaldo and exchange small talk, and eventually Paul started flirting with Arnaldo a little, and Arnaldo started to always get major boners every time Paul bent over. Arnaldo began teasing Paul by pinching his nipples when John wasn’t watching, then he would beat his meat while Paul groaned. By Christmas, they were fucking all the time, no matter where they were or what they were doing, no matter what time of the day it was, Arnaldo’s peen taco would be buried in the folds of Paul’s rectum. Wether they were at church, Arnaldo’s grandpa’s funeral, John’s bedroom, Aunt Mimi’s bedroom, Arnaldo’s grandma’s bed, in the middle of the road, you name it, they had gay sex there. 

Arnaldo began to catch feelings, but when he confessed to Paul, Paul said he wasn’t comfortable with his homosexuality and would rather suck Arnaldo’s dick in private then pursue a relationship, so Arnaldo bottled up his feelings and continued having gay sex with Paul.

The Quarryman eventually fell apart and became The Beatles, which is when Arnaldo’s true song writing ability really shone through. He wrote various hits, like Love Me Do and Twist And Shout, but before they could record these songs, Ringo Starr joined The Beatles. 

It was only Ringo’s first day in the recording studio when he decided to preform his first terrorist attack upon Arnaldo. He cornered Arnaldo when he was alone in the washroom, trying to furiously scrub away the smegma that had formed under his foreskin, when Ringo went sicko mode and cut Arnaldo’s left ball off. Arnaldo screamed in pain and fainted, hitting his head on the toilet and losing his memory of the event, but he always got anxious around Ringo with no apparent reason, and his remaining ball would tingle if Ringo was present in the room.

Eventually, Ringo cornered John and demanded that they stopped crediting Arnaldo for any of the songs he’d written. When John refused, Ringo went berserk and attacked the first person who he saw, which happened to be Paul. Ringo ploughed his nose deep into Paul’s ass and ate him out violently, only stopping to wipe Paul’s blood and shit off his face. Arnaldo rushed to save Paul but lost two fingers in the process, and Paul’s ass had already been mutilated beyond recognition. Arnaldo was diagnosed with PTSD shortly after witnessing this event. 

John refused to kick Ringo out of the band out of pure fear of what Ringo would do next. George never witnessed any of this because he was too busy smoking cigarettes and developing lung cancer to notice. 

It took one more Ringo tantrum before Arnaldo decided to call it quits. Arnaldo had sat down when he felt a drumstick slide into his urinary meatus. He knew he had quit the drums when Ringo joined the band, so they had to belong to Ringo. 

‘Oh god, oh fuck.’ Arnaldo muttered as he tried to get the drumsticks out before Ringo noticed, but it was too late. Ringo’s big ass nose could sense his drumsticks burrowing deep into Arnaldo’s penis. 

“Hehe, yeah.” Ringo chuckled as he whipped Arnaldo’s penis out of his pants and started defiling it like it was a balloon animal. He bent it, tied it, and blew it into the shape of an elephant. 

When Arnaldo confessed what had happened to his penis to Paul, and that he could no longer have sex with him, Paul refused to accept Arnaldo’s condition and began to cry, as he was about to come out of the closet and proclaim Arnaldo as his boyfriend, but didn’t wanna date a man who couldn’t preform sexually. This crushed Arnaldo, as Paul had been the only person he had ever loved in his life, but Arnaldo understood. Arnaldo’s lips met Paul’s for the last time, before Ringo stormed into the room. Arnaldo had somehow managed to get his deformed peepee into Paul’s anal cavity, and Paul seemed to be relatively enjoying it. 

‘It isn’t what it looks like..’ Paul stuttered in fear, he knew what was about to happen.

‘Arnaldo, what the fuck are you doing with my property?’ Ringo screamed, ripping off his pants.

“I don’t give a fuck wether it’s your property or not, I’m still gonna put my dick in it.” Arnaldo replied, getting snarky. 

Arnaldo only had time to blink before Ringo was completely destroying Paul’s asshole. Shit and blood covered the walls, and Arnaldo ended up having to shower three times to get it all out of his hair. 

Arnaldo took one look at Paul, all teary-eyed and bloody, and ran out the door. He never came back to the recording studio, and neither Paul nor John ever heard from him again. Paul became depressed after losing his only true love, and began sleeping around with John and drinking to cover his depression, but Paul could never last more then thirty seconds before the excruciating pain of his own asshole caused him to gush blood. 

Arnaldo ended up killing himself on December 8th, 1980, after a mental breakdown caused himself to go on a rampage and try to kill Ringo to avenge Paul and his own penis, but he ended up killing the wrong Beatle.


End file.
